God Wants to Treat Us

My last blog post was very important to me. I put before the world cherished thinking about the competing mindsets of Mammon and Consecration. I talked a lot about ways to give away the money that we have. Then, just a few days after posting, I ran across someone else’s blog post about consecration that caused my thinking to evolve (1).

You see, while I still stand by everything I wrote in my last post, I was committing in a subtle error in our I applied the principles therein in my personal life. I was falling into the fallacy of confusing Consecration with the denial of luxuries. I wanted so much to give away everything to God and dedicate my worldly goods to helping others that I felt guilty whenever I indulged in earthly things and, even worse, my heart criticized others who did likewise.

But the blog post (by my friend Nom Joti Kaur) pointed out that the mortal Jesus, our Great Example of how to be in this life, was not an ascetic (a person who “abstains from all forms of indulgence, usually for religious reasons”). She also shares a really cool experience she personally had:

One day, she worshipped in the temple (where Latter-day Saints covenant to keep the Law of Consecration) and was praying there for help with some hard things she was going through. The Spirit told her to get a manicure and a pedicure. It might seem strange to be lead to “selfishly indulge” in such things right after covenanting to give all to the Lord but she points out that God wanted to treat her and it was a good thing to accept that (this is the Reader’s Digest version—I highly recommend reading the full account in her own words).

This made me think of a similar experience I had when Jamie and I were approaching a recent wedding anniversary. We had big plans to live it up, going to our favorite restaurants and thrift store shopping together (something which we really enjoy). I was feeling guilty about the whole thing though because I knew that the money we’d spend that day could be given to the poor or some other worthy cause. I prayed about my concern and the Lord gave me a feeling of peace that said to me, “Enjoy your anniversary plans. They’re a gift from me. Receive them as such with gratitude.”

This allowed the guilt to go away and Jamie and I had a lot of fun and strengthened our love for each other and for being alive. The word “consecration” refers to dedicating someone or something to a sacred purpose. The word comes to us from the ancient practice of throwing offerings over a wall or barrier at the temple—where the offeror couldn’t access them anymore—they were literally “set apart” from the possession of the giver and transferred to God’s space (2).

When I consecrate all that I have and are to God, it is no longer mine. It is to be used for God’s purposes, not my own. But what’s amazing is that God’s purposes can include treating me! This ties into Doctrine & Covenants 59 (which I referenced in my last post). This revelation mentions all sorts of things God puts on the earth which He wants us to enjoy with gratitude.

And that’s the thing, this is the paradigm shift that comes with consecration: I stop thinking, “I earned all this money so I deserve to buy this thing for me,” and instead think, “All of these resources belong to God and He has chosen to treat me with some of them.”

But how do we make this shift? One thing that has helped me is to apply the following exhortation from Nephi to money: “Ye must not perform any thing unto the Lord save in the first place ye shall pray unto the Father in the name of Christ, that he will consecrate thy performance unto thee, that thy performance may be for the welfare of thy soul” (2 Nephi 32:9).

I am trying to talk with God about every purchase I make. Since I’ve consecrated all my money to Him, it makes sense that I would consult with Him every time that money is spent. I am trying to make the best decisions I can about where to allocate money and then take those decisions to Gpo and seek His approval. Even while at the store, when I see something I think I might purchase, I can pray in the moment in my mind and tell the Lord about it. I find that the Lord tends to approve every purchase I choose to make. I think this is because He doesn’t want to command in all things (God rarely micromanages His stewards). But seeking His approval and telling Him why I’m going to buy the thing with His money sure does change how I see purchases!

And when He approves a decision to buy something for me that I’ll enjoy, it does not feel like something I’ve earned but a gift from Him. And that is a beautiful thing.

Footnotes:

(1) I am so grateful that we seekers of truth in mortality have the opportunity to exchange ideas with one another. When done right, this can be the wonder of Sunday School and the wonder of the internet. Each of us has a limited time to learn in mortality and has vastly different personalities and experiences. Thus, each of us will naturally discover different aspects and pieces and perspectives of the Truth. It is wonderful that language allows us to share what we’ve discovered with one another so that we all might profit and get closer and closer to that One Great Whole.

(2) Nibley, Hugh W. “Breakthroughs I would Like to See”. Approaching Zion. vol. 9 of The Collected Works of Hugh Nibley (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book and FARMS, 1989).

The Bottom Line

God lives. I am utterly convinced that is true. And I’m convinced He speaks and that His messages are timely. One very timely message was given through Joseph Smith in Missouri on August 7, 1831, and is now known as Doctrine and Covenants Section 59.

This revelation was addressed to people who had just moved to, what was to them, the edge of the inhabited world to create the ideal society. They had high hopes for the sort of life they’d build and the Lord gave them instructions on what that life should look like. First (vv. 1-15), He exhorted them to treat each other well and keep the Sabbath, which is an important cornerstone of holy living, then (vv. 16-24), in discussing the blessings of Sabbath observance, He transitioned to beautiful words on how to engage with the resources of the land.

God told them (and all of us who seek the Good Society) to use the land’s resources and live abundantly. He tells us to use animals and plants for food, raiment, shelter, and aesthetic enjoyment but He also puts an important condition on this use—it must be done with gratitude and judgment, without “excess, neither by extortion” (vv. 20-21).

Let’s take a look at that word “extortion”. In the modern and 1828 Webster dictionaries, the definition of the word refers to taking something by force or abuse of power. The Lord is telling us we can’t be taking resources that way. But there’s more. The modern definition also cross-references us to the word “wring”. This is natural because the Latin roots or “extortion” (ex = “out” and tort = “twist”) originate “from the wine and olive presses... meaning to squeeze out the last drop, another way to make a margin of profit—putting the squeeze on, wringing out the last drop” (1).

One can imagine wringing the last drop out of the grapes or wringing a rag and getting every drop out of it until it’s dry. I propose that the Creator is telling us that extortion, wringing every last drop out of the resources He’s provided, is wrong and forbidden. We are to partake of the things of the earth with gratitude and wisdom but never with excess nor extortion, i.e. never taking everything that we could.

And this brings me to the title of this article: “The Bottom Line”. Always expanding one’s bottom line is a natural and normal thing to do in business. It’s a measure of success and something the stock market demands. But in order to continually maximize profits and minimize expenses, one must be continually squeezing out more and more.

This leads to all sorts of behaviors that just aren’t good for the beautiful people, animals, and earth which God created. In order to continuously expand the bottom line, people are asked to work excessive hours for less and less compensation in less and less safe conditions which makes it hard for them to live after the manner of happiness (or live at all) and devote time to their families and the Lord’s work. Animals are treated horribly to produce food that is of lower and lower quality. The earth is plundered for metals and other resources to make gadgets that are built to break or become inadequate in a short time so people will buy the next model, always with the intent not to do what is best for people or Creation or God’s work but to look out for today’s and tomorrow’s bottom line.

Instead, God has taught a more excellent way. He encourages us to live with gratitude and charity, content with having the essentials we need today (see 1 Timothy 6:8; Matthew 6:11; Luke 12:22-34) and focused on giving to others (see Acts 20:35; Luke 18:22; D&C 4:5-6). This might not be the natural way of doing business but the Lord expects much more of us than to be natural (see Mosiah 3:19). He wants us to stop wasting our time and energy on things that aren’t really important (see 2 Nephi 26:31 and 9:51) and devote ourselves to making a better kind of culture, the Good Society: Zion.

This might seem a bold thing to say. I know it is. It is because it goes against our current culture. But the Gospel always leads people to do things that are opposed to what the world’s custom. Jesus said in the Old and New Worlds that we cannot serve God and Mammon (Matthew 6:24; Luke 16:13; and 3 Nephi 13:24). The word “Mammon” does not just mean general worldliness but refers specifically to everyday business practice. Again from Hugh Nibley, “The Hebrew word for financial activity of any kind is mamonut, and the financier is a mamonai; that is, financing is, quite frankly, in that honest language, the business of Mammon” (2). We can’t live in the Zion way that God wants us to live and abide by the common sense rules of business.

The Law of Moses, albeit a “lower law”, used the letter to train people to do all sorts of things that go against the principle of the bottom line. The Book of Deuteronomy is full of directives that, like modern tithing, prescribe a specific action that people are to do that gets in the way of them advancing their bottom line (3). For example, within the Law of Moses, if you have a vineyard or field, you are not allowed to prevent passerbys by from taking some food nor is the passerby allowed to make a profit by taking more than is needed in the moment (see Deuteronomy 23:24-25). And there’s the law of gleaning (made famous by the story of Ruth) which says that after one’s first pass at harvesting, one cannot go back and get any fruit that was missed—it must be left for the less fortunate (see Deuteronomy 24:19-21). Every seven years, all debts are to be forgiven (see Deuteronomy 15:1-2) and all slaves/servants are to be released and given the resources they need to be successful freemen (see Deuteronomy 15:12-14). None of these practices make good business sense. None of them increase the bottom line. All of them require the practitioner to intentionally do something less economically efficient in order to help others. They are meant to condition the Lord’s people to avoid excess and extortion and practice charity.

Christ fulfilled Moses’ Law and now we’re to live a higher one; higher because it does not so often spell out exactly what to do but prioritizes principles that we must figure out how to apply. These principles include the exhortation against excess and extortion, Jesus’ statements about serving God and Mammon, and the Law of Consecration which allowed Enoch’s people, the Lehites, and the early Christians to live the model lifestyle with all things in common among them. The specifics of how to apply this lifestyle are spelled out in detail in the Doctrine and Covenants (see Sections 42, 48, 51, 54, 56, 63-64, 72, 78, 82, 85, 92, 96, 104, and 119, among others).

I suggest that we who yearn for Zion can do things as individuals, as families, and as professionals to practice neglecting our bottom lines in favor of consecration. We each need to ponder and council and pray to figure out to do this within our own circumstances but here are a few ideas:

• Consider the real cost of things. If we learn that a product which costs less money actually costs a lot in terms of resources plundered or people exploited, we might choose not to purchase it. 
• Similarly, we might choose to spend less time trying to make or save money when that time could be given to helping people and doing the Lord’s work. 
• Make business decisions that, while not good for the organization’s bottom line, are the right thing to do.
• Give more fast offerings, humanitarian donations, and contributions to other worthy causes. When deciding how much to give, consider giving until it hurts. Here are some quotes to consider on this topic.
• Prioritize eternal things by making family time paramount. “We might all ask ourselves: do our children receive our best spiritual, intellectual, and creative efforts, or do they receive our leftover time and talents, after we have given our all to our Church calling or professional pursuits?” (Tad R. Callister).
• Make business decisions that allow ourselves and our employees / coworkers to prioritize family time.
• Study consecration and pray to know how to apply what we learn. Here are a few places to start: 
• https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2010/10/reflections-on-a-consecrated-life?lang=eng
• https://www.lds.org/ensign/1979/01/to-prepare-a-people?lang=eng
• https://www.lds.org/ensign/1979/02/living-the-principles-of-the-law-of-consecration?lang=eng
• https://publications.mi.byu.edu/fullscreen/?pub=1114&index=17
• All of this will be hard because Mammon is built to make these things hard to do. Pray and fast for help.

Some who read this might be thinking, “This is all good for people who have plenty but I have very little. I’m a victim of the Mammon machine! I just need to survive!” I get that. That’s a very understandable way to think. King Benjamin says to such:

And again, I say unto the poor, ye who have not and yet have sufficient, that ye remain from day to day; I mean all you who deny the beggar, because ye have not; I would that ye say in your hearts that: I give not because I have not, but if I had I would give. And now, if ye say this in your hearts ye remain guiltless, otherwise ye are condemned; and your condemnation is just for ye covet that which ye have not received (Mosiah 4:24-25).

This helps us see that the opposing ways of Mammon and Consecration involve actions for sure but, at their core, they are mindsets. If we shun the mindset of Mammon and embrace that of Consecration, we will be OK and we’ll start finding ways to consecrate. And when we do that, we’re saying to God, “I’m not relying on the money the world says I need to get by. Instead, I’m relying on You.” God does not abandon those who rely on Him. I know that His promises to those who take no thought (3 Nephi 13:28-32), yoke themselves with Him (Matthew 11:30), and seek first the kingdom of God (3 Nephi 13:33) are true. He takes care of those who give everything to Him.

I pray that all of us will pray to know if the principles presented here are true and that we’ll pray to know how we should each apply them. I pray we’ll allow the Lord to hasten the time when you and I can live together in Zion that it might be written of us, “Surely there could not be a happier people among all the people who had been created by the hand of God” (4 Nephi 1:16). I testify that prioritizing the bottom line will never bring happiness and that there is one real Way to joy and that Way is Jesus Christ. As we become His disciples and prioritize what He’s taught us to prioritize, we’ll find ourselves doing things differently than most people and that kind of different, like God’s beautiful Creation, is very good.

---

Footnotes:

1. Nibley, Hugh W. “Work We Must, but the Lunch is Free”. Approaching Zion. vol. 9 of The Collected Works of Hugh Nibley (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book and FARMS, 1989), 203–51. I highly recommend reading the entire article and the entire book. I think I can honestly say that, outside the scriptures, this book has had a more positive effect on my family’s lifestyle than other book I have read.
2. Nibley, Hugh W. “Our Glory or Our Condemnation”. Approaching Zion. vol. 9 of The Collected Works of Hugh Nibley (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book and FARMS, 1989), 20-21.
3. Once again, I discovered this concept by reading Hugh Nibley: “How to Get Rich”. Approaching Zion. vol. 9 of The Collected Works of Hugh Nibley (Salt Lake City: Deseret Book and FARMS, 1989).

Teaching Lessons from Alma

Today, I was reading in Alma 33 and 34. In particular, I was looking at 33:2-14. I wrote down the following thoughts about how to teach well in my scripture journal and for some reason felt like I should share them on this blog. Hopefully they will be helpful to someone:

The way that Alma uses the words of Zenos is a great example of how revelation works as we teach. He starts out with the intention of answering these people's question about where they should worship. He does so using the scriptures (it is such a good thing to answer questions with the scriptures). He picks a set of verses that describe someone praying in a variety of places and praying for relief from an earthly enemy. That is perfect for his audience! These people are humbled because their enemies are keeping them from worshipping in the "proper place". They want an answer as to what to do about it! These verses would seem to say that they don't need to worship in that place and that they can pray for relief from the wealthy proud folk who persecute them.

But then that is not the point that Alma ends up making from these verses. Perhaps it was the point he intended to make when he started sharing them but instead he ends up making the point that we need Jesus Christ to be saved and he goes off on that trail instead (which is the weightier thing).

One way to think of this is that it doesn't matter what building they worship in as long as they worship in the name of Jesus Christ (which their society wasn't doing).

I can glean the following teaching principles from this:

• It is good to share the scriptures when teaching.
• Let God guide teaching. Who knows where God will take it.
• Be aware of the audience's needs and teach to them while being aware that the Spirit might make apparent an even more important need.
• Use what the audience is concerned with to get their interest (motivation and investment) but also be willing to use that investment to help them learn about something they need to know even more than the thing they want to know.
• Tie all teaching back to Jesus Christ and how He is the Source of redemption.

Teaching the Great Fundamental

As a Latter-day Saint, I believe that the Lord has revealed some wonderful things in the last two centuries. Through Joseph Smith and follow through by other prophets, the Lord has given the world the Book of Mormon, the Word of Wisdom, temples, eternal families, knowledge of how to preserve those families, and a gamut of other doctrines that not only enrich my life but are the basis of everything that matters to me.

With all of these wonderful doctrines at our disposal, we might fall into the trap of forgetting what Joseph Smith taught gave life to them all. He famously said:

“The fundamental principles of our religion are the testimony of the Apostles and Prophets, concerning Jesus Christ, that He died, was buried, and rose again the third day, and ascended into heaven; and all other things which pertain to our religion are only appendages to it” (Teachings of the Presidents of the Church: Joseph Smith, 49).

Just as Christ taught that He is the Vine and the disciples the branches (see John 15:1-7), so are all doctrines of the Gospel branches or appendages of the Vine that is Jesus Christ. If we try to understand or live any principle of the Gospel without seeing it in the context of Christ and His Atonement then "there will be no life nor substance nor redemption in them” (Boyd K. Packer, “The Mediator”).

Jamie and I have noted this principle in action frequently of late. We’ve sat in lessons where, for some reason, the Spirit just didn’t reach that peak you want when you give three hours of your Sunday to marching kids off to church. But then, just recently, we’ve participated in fantastic lessons where the Spirit was so strong and we’ve commented that what those lessons had in common was being centered on Christ and His Atonement.

For example, earlier this month, there was a Gospel Doctrine lesson on Joseph Smith’s time in Liberty Jail. The teacher and the class members testified of how Jesus Christ understood Joseph’s trials and all of our trials because He has been through them and thus has the moral authority to advise us in them. The Spirit was so strong as we testified and learned about Christ and connected all principles back to Him. The “look what I know” or “look how right I am” sort of comments that sometimes usurp Gospel Doctrine class were gone as we all unified in meekness before the Son of God.

Then, just last Sunday, while visiting family in Idaho, a sacrament meeting speaker gave a talk on the first principles and ordinances of the Gospel. As she talked about faith, repentance, baptism, and the gift of the Holy Ghost, she connected each one back to Christ, both His example of the principle and how the principle gives us access to His Atonement. The Spirit was so strong as she spoke and I wondered to myself how more of us could do a better job of connecting whatever principle we’re assigned to teach to the Atonement of the Savior.

And then, revelation hit me like lightning. I wrote it down as quickly and accurately as I could. The revelation consisted of questions I can ask myself as I prepare a lesson or sermon:

• How does Christ’s Atonement make this principle possible?
• How does this principle help us use Christ’s Atonement?
• How is this principle symbolic of Christ’s Atonement?
• How did/does Christ exemplify this principle?

For example, I will be teaching an upcoming Elders quorum lesson called “Continue in the Great Process of Learning”. I need to ask myself questions like “How does Christ’s Atonement make learning possible?”, “How does learning help us use Christ’s Atonement?”, or “How did/does Christ exemplify learning”. I can find answers to those questions in scriptures such as Doctrine & Covenants 88:5-11, Matthew 11:29, Luke 2:52, and the words of President Hinckley in the lesson itself.

As I begin my lesson with a testimony of how learning is connected to the Atonement of Jesus Christ and the answers to the questions above throughout the lesson (which should be easy to do with any true principle) then the Spirit will come in abundance and we elders will understand the principles taught in their proper and Living context.

All of this goes back to the sacrament prayers. Every sacrament meeting, Latter-day Saints consume the emblems of the Savior’s Atonement and promise twice to “always remember him [the Son of God]” and, as a result, are promised in return that “they may always have his Spirit to be with them” (Doctrine and Covenants 20:77, 79). One important way to keep that covenant is to ensure that every lesson, talk, and testimony we give ties back to the atoning sacrifice of the Savior and, as we do so, the Lord will keep His side of the covenant and the Spirit will abound in our meetings.

Reflections on Our Eleventh Anniversary!

Today, Jamie and I celebrate 11 years of being married! I love her so freaking much. Just last week, my marriage came up naturally in a conversation with two of my students and I got emotional (i.e. I teared up in front of them) because I felt so fiercely how much I care about Jamie and how grateful I am to have experienced this journey together.

That said, our marriage wasn’t always so great. The first year was really hard! Let me explain:

First, you need to know that Jamie and I did not officially date very long at all. We had been friends as LDS missionaries and then as emailing buddies (living in different states) for about a year-and-a-half. We finally started to date while hanging out over a Christmas break from our respective universities. We dated four days before getting engaged and then were married four months later.

So, while we had been friends for a while, we didn’t date very long before getting married. I have no regrets about this choice (and there is even research which shows that time spent time is not a predictor of whether a marriage will last or not), it did come with consequences. After we got married, there were surprises. There were plenty of times when I thought that I didn’t sign up for being married to this or that aspect of my new wife.

On top of that, my personality loves possibility! And when my possibilities get limited, I often struggle with feeling confined. Making choices is hard for me because rather than focus on the good that comes from my choice, I tend to worry about missing out on all the possibilities that would have come with the other choices I could have made. This tendency was a real problem for enjoying the first year of marriage. Rather than focus on the goodness of choosing to marry Jamie, I often worried about how I was stuck with one choice and wondered about how the possibilities of marrying other people were now limited.

(BTW, I’m not proud that I felt this way. I feel very vulnerable sharing that truth but I think it is good to be vulnerable and I hope sharing this will help others.)

So, I spent the first year of marriage unhappy in many ways. You need not suppose that I was unhappy all the time. Jamie and I had lots of great experiences and growth together but I’d be lying if I didn’t say that the concerns listed above continually bothered me and put a shadow over the first year of marriage.

I kept at marriage though simply because I believe in marriage. I believe that marriage is not just a legal contract but a covenant with God to stay with and love and honor my wife. So, out of love for God, I kept at the marriage in spite of my concerns. Then, some time into my second year of marriage, I had an important experience.

I decided I didn’t want to be unhappy in marriage anymore. I wanted to figure out a resolution for the doubts I was having. So, I began reading The Book of Mormon from beginning to end and highlighting every verse that taught me anything that could help me figure this out. One morning, I was reading in the book (I don’t remember where to be honest) and a thought hit me like lighting. It went something like this:

You didn’t get married to make yourself happy. You got married to make her happy.

That thought was the first marriage breakthrough and changed everything. It enabled me to forget about all the other possibilities and could have pursued, fully embrace my choice to marry Jamie, and dedicate myself to making her happy, not worrying about my own happiness. That day, I chose to change my perspective and look for ways to increase her happiness. Of course, I haven’t been perfect at always being unselfish ever since but I have worked hard to focus on putting her wants and needs before my own and really honoring the covenant I made at marriage to dedicate my life to Jamie’s happiness.

As I’ve followed through on those intentions over the ten-ish years since that breakthrough, I’ve discovered a profound, sublime, quiet satisfaction and joy in marriage. I love being married to Jamie so much and love her so much not so much because of any one moment but because I’ve made so many little sacrifices for her over the years.

Now, I must say here that I am lucky and blessed to have married someone who does not at all take advantage of my decision to put her before myself. She reciprocates it. I don’t think this principle works unless both partners in the relationship are trying to apply it. If one person is perpetually forgetting themselves to dedicate their actions to the other’s happiness and the other person never does so, it can become one sided and even abusive. This goes back to a blog post I wrote recently about the role of loving oneself which you can read by clicking here.

But in a situation where both partners forget themselves in service to the other person, trusting that the other person will serve them back, real unity and sublime joy grow. It is a wonderful thing I recommend to all. And I never would have discovered it had not my reverence for the principle of marriage moved me to stick with it through that hard year. I know many people who don’t like the idea of marriage for various reasons but I am so grateful for a covenant that moves people to stay together and figure things out so that can get through hard stuff and discover unspeakable joy at the end of the tunnel.

The Miracle of Loving Oneself

I am a big advocate for the concept of forgetting oneself and serving others. I have learned from personal experience that I am happiest when I’m other-minded. Focusing on the happiness of others has helped me overcome depression and minimize stress. My soul resonates with the exhortation of Jesus: “Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself”.

But here’s the thing about the wording of that mandate. It says one must love one’s neighbor as oneself, no more than oneself. When I noticed this, it threw me off because I’ve been such an advocate of forgetting oneself to be other-minded. But it makes sense because my experience has also taught me that I can only love others to the degree and capacity with which I love myself.

Let me illustrate how important this is by pointing out three disastrous scenarios that come about because people try to love others without loving themselves:

Exhaustion: Too many of us try to help others without taking care of ourselves and end up getting burnt out. It’s like writing checks from an account without any money in it. The checks are impotent. Similarly, the love we try to give others is impotent if it is not backed by a full account of healthy love for ourselves. We become exhausted and are less helpful to other people because we don’t have enough self to give.

Abuse: Many abusers use the principle of “forget yourself and love your partner” to guilt the other person into sticking around and suffering the abusive relationship. This manipulation works because the promotion of “selflessness” is not being tempered with the idea of loving oneself. Thus, the beautiful principle of other-mindedness is mutated into something ugly and evil that allows the abuser to selfishly hurt others.

Incompleteness: As a high school teacher, I worry that some of the teenagers I observe enter in romantic relationships to try to complete themselves and it just doesn’t work. They end up being an emotional drain on the other person (and it’s really weird when both people are emotionally draining each other). I think it is better to be happy with ourselves and have developed a secure sense of self to the point that we have something to give to a partner rather than try to use romantic relationships to complete ourselves. For a beautiful sermon on this topic, check out Shel Silverstein’s “The Missing Piece Meets the Big O”. It’s great.

Now, I want to be really clear here that I’m not advocating for selfishness—I’m advocating for a healthy, confident love of oneself that is both a prerequisite for and a product of selflessness. And I know I just stated a contradiction. If it’s the product of selflessness, how can it also be a prerequisite for it? Does that mean we’re stuck in the plight of the young person who needs work experience to get a job but needs a job to get work experience?

Love is a transcendent principle. In fact, it is perhaps the most transcendent principle I have ever engaged with. And transcendent principles are usually rife with contradictions because they exist on a higher, spiritual plane and our intellects are limited to linear, one-thing-at-a-time processes. To a one-dimensional line, a two-dimensional circle is quite the extraordinary thing, rife with “contradictions” that defy the rules of the plane on which it exists—and imagine how both the line and the circle feel about a sphere! For us mortals existing in a one-dimensional world, so to speak, two or three-dimensional love is quite the miracle and quite the contradiction so it’s going to be hard to define and nail down at times.

But I know from experience that if we will engage with love for others and for ourselves, we will discover a completeness of love that will raise us to higher places and fill us with joy. And when we practice love for others, it will help us feel greater love for ourselves just as when we practice true love for ourselves, we’ll feel more able and willing to show love to others. If we try to love ourselves without loving others, we will probably end up in a selfish place. But, similarly, if we try to love others without loving ourselves, we’ll engage with a hollow fragment of love that will, ultimately, leave us burnt out, broken, or unsatisfied.

Putting Sleep First

I have a goal this year: to sleep.

I’ve been haunted for months by an urgent feeling that I need to sleep more. As mentioned in a previous post, Jamie and I prayed to know how to know God better and felt to change our diet. Then, when I prayed to know what to do next to know Him more, I felt on multiple occasions that I needed to sleep more.

I knew the scriptures say, “Retire to thy bed early, that ye may not be weary; arise early, that your bodies and your minds may be invigorated” (Doctrine & Covenants 88:124). I wanted to have an invigorated mind that could more easily perceive God’s influence but here’s the rub—some research is showing that everyone needs a certain amount of sleep each night and, if you get behind, you have to make it up! (see sources here and here and here). I knew I was really behind, like hundreds or maybe even thousands of hours behind. I was so intimidated by the idea of making up all that sleep that I didn’t know where to start.

When the new year came around, I decided it was time to finally do it somehow. I set a goal to get 3,000 hours of sleep during 2017. That means I would get an average of 8 hours / night (which seems to be how much I need) plus an extra 80 hours throughout the year that would make some kind of dent on the massive sleep debt I’ve incurred. I track my sleep each week toward the yearly number.

After three weeks of trying this goal, I’ve slept an an average of 8 hours per night plus an extra five and I’ve learned some important things. First of all, I am less weary and my mind and body are definitely more invigorated. It is much easier to think and love and believe and be engaged in people and tasks that matter. I’m a better dad, more able to play and help out. It’s wonderful!

Having a goal to get a certain number of hours of sleep has proven very useful to actually getting sleep. One of the main things that was keeping me from getting to bed when I should was a desire to accomplish goals and tasks. There were all sorts of things I felt like I needed to get done and I’d sacrifice sleep to do them. By making getting sleep one of my most urgent goals, I find it easier to choose not to do many things in order to go to bed.

This has had an unexpected bonus: it helps me live more simply and prioritize the most important things. Life feels more significant and holy. There are lots of things that I used to think were important that I simply choose not to do now because there simply isn’t time to do them in the waking hours I’ve allotted myself. As I prioritize other things which are incredibly important—in particular sacred things such as the time I give to God, my family, and other people—a sense of increased holiness and consecration accompanies my life.

I found a verse in Psalms this week that articulates another unexpected advantage of prioritizing sleep. Psalm 127 talks about how guards who watched ancient cities did so in vain unless they involved the Lord in the process. It says, “...Except the Lord keep the city, the watchman taketh but in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows; for so he giveth his beloved sleep.” This verse says to me that as I simply make time to sleep instead of doing things I think I need to get done, I have to trust in Christ’s grace to help many things work out and that is good.

Sleep is good. I highly recommend it.