Living in the Now

Jamie and I have big plans for the future. When we sold our house over a year ago, we intentionally chose to rent next so that we could keep ourselves flexible to move on to the next big thing when all lines up correctly. We plan on moving closer to our family for the first time in our marriage, securing a good amount of land where we can produce as much of our own food as possible, and creating a lifestyle where neither of us works more than 20 hours/week so we can make family time and service to our community the center of our lives. We are so excited for these plans! A day does not go by that we do not make mention in our home of the magical “some day” when we’ll have the life we’re working for.

But the way I think about that future changed this week (and no, I’m not talking about the presidential election). I received a blessing this week—let me explain what that is: in our church, when we’re sick or going through a hard time, we follow the Biblical counsel in James 5:14-15 and call on our brothers in the faith to come and give a “blessing”. The person or people giving the blessing put their hands on the recipient, invoke the Savior’s name, and listen to the Holy Spirit to know what blessings to promise the person and what words of counsel or comfort to say. I’ve received and given many blessings in my life. It has been a beautiful way to increase a sense of community and also get help when I needed it. Countless times, blessings have helped me make positive and needed tweaks in life. In fact, the big goals our family has for the future came as a result of blessings Jamie and I received.

On Monday, a good friend and I gave each other blessings. Both of us were feeling anxious for the future. I was yearning for our goals to come more quickly and he was worried about the future of his love life. The blessing he gave me told me that God is pleased with the goals that I have and He smiles upon my enthusiasm toward reaching them but that He also wants me to focus more on the present. I was told that the experiences and relationships I enjoy while living in our current apartment will become precious memories but that I will miss out on that if I don’t live fully in the moment.

So, I’ve been trying to make mental course corrections this week. I’ve been thinking of teachings of Jesus such as “Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin…. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself.” And how He taught His disciples to pray, “Give us this day our daily bread” rather than pray for tomorrow’s bread. I’ve also been thinking about gratitude and some of the teachings of Buddhism. I love how Buddhists recognize that everything will decay and pass away but rather than be pessimistic about this, they use it as a reason to be profoundly grateful that things do exist as they do now. This attitude can help one live with wonder in the moment.

This doesn’t mean that I’m giving up on planning or saying, “Eat, drink, and be merry, for tomorrow we die.” I still believe that “if ye are prepared ye shall not fear” and still hold on to the goals we have for the future. But I was worrying too much about if we were doing enough to prepare for those goals. That worry was fear and it wasn’t helpful. We will steadily do what we need to do to reach our goals but we won’t worry about it. We’ll enjoy now and make memories now.

All of this makes me think about what Stephen Colbert said on Tuesday night about the election. If you haven’t watched it, then head on over and check it out. It’s great! He talks about how maybe the internet has created a world where we’re all politicking too much and we’re not really living. He’s not saying that we shouldn’t do our due part to be informed, vote, and influence policy in good directions but he is saying that we need to spend the majority of our time living. We need to live now.

So, I’m trying to make “live in the moment” more than a cliché. I’m not yet sure how to do that entirely. And would very much appreciate any advice from any of you. In the meantime, I went with my kids to the park the other night. We ran on the sidewalk that encircles the park over and over again, jumping over each crack. We all laughed and, in that moment, there was nothing in the world other than us, laughter, and connection. It was pretty great. We were alive.